Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The Red Firefly Premise
It's the story of two guys, a girl, a briefcase full of money, a salad spinner, a time machine and a small red fly. You know, "that old story."
The Red Firefly Synopsis
Bill begins his Saturday morning as usual, when a small explosion and a man in a Hawaiian shirt suddenly appear in his closet. This stranger (Joe) insists they are best friend and has traveled back in time three years to carry out a master plan created by Bill in the future.
Bill agrees to help the man gather provisions needed for the scheme. While gathering items, they stop at a pawnshop where Joe pays off the loan on a large ruby ring, which is a family heirloom belonging to a friend. He knows the pawnshop will burn down later that night and the ring would never be seen again.
From the time spent together, Bill realizes this man knows too much about his personal life to be a random stranger. They run into other friends who also do not know the Hawaiian shirted stranger and Joe observes their lives without his influence to find they are all better off without him except for Bill who is missing a special piece of his life and his heritage.
To prove they are best friends, Joe takes Bill to a fishing spot on the Pine River outside of town. He explains this to be the spot where Bill's Grandpa George caught a state record trout on the day Bill was born. Bill recognizes the spot from an old photograph of his grandfather. Joe also explains that Grandpa George had a special red fly pattern he tied that should have been passed down through the generations. However, Bill's grandfather and father died when he was a baby and he never learned how to fish or had ever seen this red fly.
After spending the morning with Joe, Bill agrees to help him with this master plan. In exchange, Joe offers to help Bill get back the missing piece of his heritage.
He explains how in the future they come to possess a discarded government surplus time machine. After reading a book (The Senator's Deal) about a Senator's botched assassin-for-hire plot three years in the past, Bill (in the future) developed a plan to recover a missing briefcase filled with a million dollars. They enlist the help of Bill's wife Cindy who thinks Joe is a con artist.
She tries to get the mystery man to confess as to what he is really trying to do. After a search of his gym bag she finds, a book (The Senator's Deal) with a published date in the future, along with a picture of Joe at a table in a bar with Bill and Cindy. There's another woman (Mary) in the picture that she has never seen before.
During an exchange of conversations and stories of adventure (from the future) Joe shares about the Bill and Cindy, they hear about a life they wish could have been.
Cindy realizes that Joe has some kind of alternate motive. He confirms her suspicions but will not disclose his actual agenda.
The master plan leads them to a bar on the edge of town. Joe describes the events of the night, before they happen. Even though all of his stories of past events involve drinking beer, he only drinks water at the bar. When a biker near the front door leaves, that’s their signal to execute the plan.
Hiding in some bushes, they watch the Senator hand the briefcase full of money to the biker. The police break in after Joe grabs the case and a chase ensues. They find the briefcase never contained any money, elude the police and wind up back in town at sunrise.
Joe explains that he didn't really come back for the money; he only wanted to save the life of the mysterious woman in the picture (Mary). On that same night three years in his past, he drank too much, wrecked his car and killed Mary his fiancée. As they walk through the park Mary passes by and says hello. Joe is then transported back to his time period.
Now back in the present, Joe once again finds the world not as he remembered. Bill and Cindy are his friends, but most everyone he encounters is angry with him including the host of a local children's show (Captain Andy) who tries to kill him. Mary is alive only now she is pregnant with his baby and has a deep hatred for Joe whose memory is fading.
Bill now has a new master plan to help his friend get his life back to the point where it should be at this time. It must all happen before Bill's birthday, which is tomorrow.
He takes Joe and Mary, along with his wife Cindy who is also pregnant, to the top of a mountain to be married by an Indian Chief. Mary, who takes every opportunity she can to physically hurt Joe, thinks the time travel story is just a foolish attempt to evade a commitment to her.
Trying to put an end to the marriage talk, she makes a deal with him. If he can produce an engagement ring within one minute that is so wonderful it'll make her cry, she'll marry him.
Joe pulls out of his pocket her grandmother's ruby ring that he rescued from the pawnshop. She cries at the sight of the ring when she realizes all the stories were true. They are married at the top of the mountain right before Mary and Cindy go into labor.
While holding their newborn sons, Bill explains to Joe how the time machine can only be activated for one more trip that he will use on his birthday. After considering all the possible places in time he could visit, Bill decides to get back that piece of his heritage that Joe said belonged to him.
The story ends with Bill standing in the Pine River receiving fly fishing pointers from an old man named George who shows him a special pattern that he tied. He holds up the fly that he calls a Red Firefly.
If you would like to read the first three chapters of The red Firefly, send me an email to: mgwallace64@gmail.com
Bill agrees to help the man gather provisions needed for the scheme. While gathering items, they stop at a pawnshop where Joe pays off the loan on a large ruby ring, which is a family heirloom belonging to a friend. He knows the pawnshop will burn down later that night and the ring would never be seen again.
From the time spent together, Bill realizes this man knows too much about his personal life to be a random stranger. They run into other friends who also do not know the Hawaiian shirted stranger and Joe observes their lives without his influence to find they are all better off without him except for Bill who is missing a special piece of his life and his heritage.
To prove they are best friends, Joe takes Bill to a fishing spot on the Pine River outside of town. He explains this to be the spot where Bill's Grandpa George caught a state record trout on the day Bill was born. Bill recognizes the spot from an old photograph of his grandfather. Joe also explains that Grandpa George had a special red fly pattern he tied that should have been passed down through the generations. However, Bill's grandfather and father died when he was a baby and he never learned how to fish or had ever seen this red fly.
After spending the morning with Joe, Bill agrees to help him with this master plan. In exchange, Joe offers to help Bill get back the missing piece of his heritage.
He explains how in the future they come to possess a discarded government surplus time machine. After reading a book (The Senator's Deal) about a Senator's botched assassin-for-hire plot three years in the past, Bill (in the future) developed a plan to recover a missing briefcase filled with a million dollars. They enlist the help of Bill's wife Cindy who thinks Joe is a con artist.
She tries to get the mystery man to confess as to what he is really trying to do. After a search of his gym bag she finds, a book (The Senator's Deal) with a published date in the future, along with a picture of Joe at a table in a bar with Bill and Cindy. There's another woman (Mary) in the picture that she has never seen before.
During an exchange of conversations and stories of adventure (from the future) Joe shares about the Bill and Cindy, they hear about a life they wish could have been.
Cindy realizes that Joe has some kind of alternate motive. He confirms her suspicions but will not disclose his actual agenda.
The master plan leads them to a bar on the edge of town. Joe describes the events of the night, before they happen. Even though all of his stories of past events involve drinking beer, he only drinks water at the bar. When a biker near the front door leaves, that’s their signal to execute the plan.
Hiding in some bushes, they watch the Senator hand the briefcase full of money to the biker. The police break in after Joe grabs the case and a chase ensues. They find the briefcase never contained any money, elude the police and wind up back in town at sunrise.
Joe explains that he didn't really come back for the money; he only wanted to save the life of the mysterious woman in the picture (Mary). On that same night three years in his past, he drank too much, wrecked his car and killed Mary his fiancée. As they walk through the park Mary passes by and says hello. Joe is then transported back to his time period.
Now back in the present, Joe once again finds the world not as he remembered. Bill and Cindy are his friends, but most everyone he encounters is angry with him including the host of a local children's show (Captain Andy) who tries to kill him. Mary is alive only now she is pregnant with his baby and has a deep hatred for Joe whose memory is fading.
Bill now has a new master plan to help his friend get his life back to the point where it should be at this time. It must all happen before Bill's birthday, which is tomorrow.
He takes Joe and Mary, along with his wife Cindy who is also pregnant, to the top of a mountain to be married by an Indian Chief. Mary, who takes every opportunity she can to physically hurt Joe, thinks the time travel story is just a foolish attempt to evade a commitment to her.
Trying to put an end to the marriage talk, she makes a deal with him. If he can produce an engagement ring within one minute that is so wonderful it'll make her cry, she'll marry him.
Joe pulls out of his pocket her grandmother's ruby ring that he rescued from the pawnshop. She cries at the sight of the ring when she realizes all the stories were true. They are married at the top of the mountain right before Mary and Cindy go into labor.
While holding their newborn sons, Bill explains to Joe how the time machine can only be activated for one more trip that he will use on his birthday. After considering all the possible places in time he could visit, Bill decides to get back that piece of his heritage that Joe said belonged to him.
The story ends with Bill standing in the Pine River receiving fly fishing pointers from an old man named George who shows him a special pattern that he tied. He holds up the fly that he calls a Red Firefly.
If you would like to read the first three chapters of The red Firefly, send me an email to: mgwallace64@gmail.com
Time Pirate Premise
In order to save the earth from an invasion by a superior army, the whiskey loving space pirate John Grant embarks on a quest to keep this enemy force from obtaining a treasure he has guarded for thousands of years.
During his journey through time and the universe, he learns the art of piracy from Blackbeard, drinks mead with Moses, travels with Captain Richard Burton, participates in the War Between the States and battles all kinds of creatures from many planets all while he pursues his nemesis, a man named Dutal.
As Grant and his crew infiltrate the invading force, the fight turns personal. All of his experiences from participating in historic and future events come together at this one point in his life. Grant learns the enemy army is commanded by the man who killed the one woman he loved hundreds of years ago, General Dutal.
If you would like to read the first three chapters of Time Pirate, send me an email to timepirate64@gmail.com
During his journey through time and the universe, he learns the art of piracy from Blackbeard, drinks mead with Moses, travels with Captain Richard Burton, participates in the War Between the States and battles all kinds of creatures from many planets all while he pursues his nemesis, a man named Dutal.
As Grant and his crew infiltrate the invading force, the fight turns personal. All of his experiences from participating in historic and future events come together at this one point in his life. Grant learns the enemy army is commanded by the man who killed the one woman he loved hundreds of years ago, General Dutal.
If you would like to read the first three chapters of Time Pirate, send me an email to timepirate64@gmail.com
Time Pirate Synopsis
In the year 2384 the feared space Pirate John Grant accepts a commission to cross enemy lines and confront the leader of an overwhelming hostile force about to invade Earth. The newly appointed King of the invading race is after the treasure of the Knights Templar that Grant has guarded for centuries, which among the riches contains the Arc of the Covenant and the Third Nail of Christ that gives the bearer immortality.
With a stolen ship and a rag-tag crew they embark on a journey chased by bounty hunters and militia. He must use the skills, and wisdom he acquired from thousands of years of time travel forced upon him by a mysterious man known only as a Time Pilot.
His first contact with this time traveler placed Grant in Walachia in the year 1462. At age nineteen he encountered the Impaled Forest and Prince Vlad who thrust the young Grant into a sword battle where he killed his opponent. Dutal, the brother of the dead man, vows revenge and becomes Grant's arch nemesis.
Grant then takes part in the Battle of Bull Run where he discovered the immense treasure his future self hid in a church vault near the battlefield.
Back in space, Grant rescues several of his old crew members in a black market port. A dispute arises over a shot of whiskey which escalates to a fight that destroys the town. Back on his ship, to relax, he plays a musical instrument made of crystal and explains that he's trying to create a perfect note so he can again see the woman that burned in his heart. A lesson learned from time he spent with Frank Zappa.
Once again under attack from several bounty hunters, they are surprised when Queen VyDanna and her powerful military come to their rescue. The eighty-year-old Queen boards his ship but Grant is too embarrassed to face her. Wearing an old wristwatch strung through a chain around her neck, she forces him to look into her crystal blue eyes. With a tear streaming down her cheek, she leaves his ship.
The Caribbean 1718A.D.: A twenty one year old Grant is captured by Edward Teach (Blackbeard) and the master teaches him the art of piracy.
Space current day: After a raid on an asteroid based mining colony guarded by giant cyborgs and robotic tigers, Grant and his crew sell the valuable industrial crystal ore at the next port town. Because of their leader's affection for whiskey, which leads to the destruction of the port, the crew find themselves once again on the run from bounty hunters.
England 1642 A.D.: A twenty three year old Grant meets Maryrose the woman that fills and thrives in his heart for the rest of his existence. They wed and he dedicates his life to her happiness.
The town comes under siege from Cromwell's Royalists and Maryrose is forced into a sword fight with a soldier who turns out to be Dutal. She's murdered before Grant can rescue her and she dies in his arms as the Time Pilot takes him away.
1118 Jerusalem 1118A.D.: Grant chases Dutal across the desert on horseback when he meets up with and befriends the original nine Templar Knights. They disclose to him the vast treasures under their protection.
Space, current day: Grant and his crew are captured by the Captain of the Pandora and brought to trial on a nearby planet. A band of pirates led by a fully-grown Payen (who Grant rescued as a boy and mentored to be a pirate) raids the court and rescue Grant and his crew.
Space, year 2334: Grant, now twenty-five years old accepts a commission to help a young Queen with whom he has fallen in love with which conflicts with his feelings for Maryrose. In order to save her people, the young and beautiful Queen VyDanna with crystal blue eyes has asked Grant to represent her throne in the Corbet challenge.
Grant battles fellow pirates and several hideous creatures before he captures the Corbet Medallion. At the ceremony where he is dubbed a Corbet Knight, Queen VyDanna attempts to abandon her throne just to be with him. Because his heart still belongs to Maryrose, he gives her his wristwatch and leaves believing he will never to see her again.
Egypt, 1340 B.C.: Egypt: Hired as a mercenary, Grant at twenty seven years old, drinks Meade with and reports his findings to the Pharaoh Akhenaten. Because of an uprising led by the ruler's brother, Akhenaten must flee Egypt. Only as a favor to the Pharaoh’s wife (Nefertiti) and son (Tutankhamen), he helps the King escape into the desert along with a few possessions, which include a stone tablet which Akhenaten carved the ten rules of the Book of the Dead.
Space, current day: Grant and his crew arrive on the planet where they expect to find King Enlili of the Banda (the force at war with earth) only to find it devastated with all the inhabitants impaled on wooden poles across thousands of square miles.
Planet Ta, year 2142: Grant is asked to help fend off an invasion by a powerful race. Acting alone, Grant uncovers the enemy's weakness, which he exploits to bring their demise. The Ta honor him with The Mark of Omar awarded to only three times before.
At the ceremony, the Ta sing to him using only perfect notes. The song, which is a gift to his soul, vibrates deep inside him until he sees Maryrose stand before him for the first time in 500 years. He holds her hand and feels her soft skin while smelling the flower fragrances in her hair. They talk as if they have never been apart. As the song ends, she vanishes.
Space current day: Grant and his men find and battle Enlili's soldiers and in order to save his crew Grant allows himself to be captured.
Egypt 1338 B.C.: Grant travels through the desert in pursuit of Dutal, when he comes across the former Egyptian slaves on their exodus from the land. He meets their leader, Moses; unknown to them, he is actually the Pharaoh Akhenaten who had originally enslaved them. They have placed the tablets with the 10 rules of the Book of the Dead in a specially constructed gold trimmed box and refer to them as the Commandments.
Space current day: Grant is brought before King Enlili who turns out to be Price Vlad the Impaler. Vlad offers to spare Earth in exchange for the treasure of the Knights Templar. Grant counters with a challenge of a duel. Grant has the choice to fight Vlad and end the war or fight Dutal and get his revenge for the murder of Maryrose.
Grant battles Vlad and forces a draw, a strategy he learned from a chess match played against Vlad centuries ago. The only way Grant could thrust his sword through the King was to let Vlad do the same. While Grant's eyes begin to close, he sees himself in the crowd next to the Time Pilot. Maryrose walks toward Grant and places the Third Nail of Christ in his hand.
If you would like to read the first three chapters of Time Pirate, send me an email to timepirate64@gmail.com
With a stolen ship and a rag-tag crew they embark on a journey chased by bounty hunters and militia. He must use the skills, and wisdom he acquired from thousands of years of time travel forced upon him by a mysterious man known only as a Time Pilot.
His first contact with this time traveler placed Grant in Walachia in the year 1462. At age nineteen he encountered the Impaled Forest and Prince Vlad who thrust the young Grant into a sword battle where he killed his opponent. Dutal, the brother of the dead man, vows revenge and becomes Grant's arch nemesis.
Grant then takes part in the Battle of Bull Run where he discovered the immense treasure his future self hid in a church vault near the battlefield.
Back in space, Grant rescues several of his old crew members in a black market port. A dispute arises over a shot of whiskey which escalates to a fight that destroys the town. Back on his ship, to relax, he plays a musical instrument made of crystal and explains that he's trying to create a perfect note so he can again see the woman that burned in his heart. A lesson learned from time he spent with Frank Zappa.
Once again under attack from several bounty hunters, they are surprised when Queen VyDanna and her powerful military come to their rescue. The eighty-year-old Queen boards his ship but Grant is too embarrassed to face her. Wearing an old wristwatch strung through a chain around her neck, she forces him to look into her crystal blue eyes. With a tear streaming down her cheek, she leaves his ship.
The Caribbean 1718A.D.: A twenty one year old Grant is captured by Edward Teach (Blackbeard) and the master teaches him the art of piracy.
Space current day: After a raid on an asteroid based mining colony guarded by giant cyborgs and robotic tigers, Grant and his crew sell the valuable industrial crystal ore at the next port town. Because of their leader's affection for whiskey, which leads to the destruction of the port, the crew find themselves once again on the run from bounty hunters.
England 1642 A.D.: A twenty three year old Grant meets Maryrose the woman that fills and thrives in his heart for the rest of his existence. They wed and he dedicates his life to her happiness.
The town comes under siege from Cromwell's Royalists and Maryrose is forced into a sword fight with a soldier who turns out to be Dutal. She's murdered before Grant can rescue her and she dies in his arms as the Time Pilot takes him away.
1118 Jerusalem 1118A.D.: Grant chases Dutal across the desert on horseback when he meets up with and befriends the original nine Templar Knights. They disclose to him the vast treasures under their protection.
Space, current day: Grant and his crew are captured by the Captain of the Pandora and brought to trial on a nearby planet. A band of pirates led by a fully-grown Payen (who Grant rescued as a boy and mentored to be a pirate) raids the court and rescue Grant and his crew.
Space, year 2334: Grant, now twenty-five years old accepts a commission to help a young Queen with whom he has fallen in love with which conflicts with his feelings for Maryrose. In order to save her people, the young and beautiful Queen VyDanna with crystal blue eyes has asked Grant to represent her throne in the Corbet challenge.
Grant battles fellow pirates and several hideous creatures before he captures the Corbet Medallion. At the ceremony where he is dubbed a Corbet Knight, Queen VyDanna attempts to abandon her throne just to be with him. Because his heart still belongs to Maryrose, he gives her his wristwatch and leaves believing he will never to see her again.
Egypt, 1340 B.C.: Egypt: Hired as a mercenary, Grant at twenty seven years old, drinks Meade with and reports his findings to the Pharaoh Akhenaten. Because of an uprising led by the ruler's brother, Akhenaten must flee Egypt. Only as a favor to the Pharaoh’s wife (Nefertiti) and son (Tutankhamen), he helps the King escape into the desert along with a few possessions, which include a stone tablet which Akhenaten carved the ten rules of the Book of the Dead.
Space, current day: Grant and his crew arrive on the planet where they expect to find King Enlili of the Banda (the force at war with earth) only to find it devastated with all the inhabitants impaled on wooden poles across thousands of square miles.
Planet Ta, year 2142: Grant is asked to help fend off an invasion by a powerful race. Acting alone, Grant uncovers the enemy's weakness, which he exploits to bring their demise. The Ta honor him with The Mark of Omar awarded to only three times before.
At the ceremony, the Ta sing to him using only perfect notes. The song, which is a gift to his soul, vibrates deep inside him until he sees Maryrose stand before him for the first time in 500 years. He holds her hand and feels her soft skin while smelling the flower fragrances in her hair. They talk as if they have never been apart. As the song ends, she vanishes.
Space current day: Grant and his men find and battle Enlili's soldiers and in order to save his crew Grant allows himself to be captured.
Egypt 1338 B.C.: Grant travels through the desert in pursuit of Dutal, when he comes across the former Egyptian slaves on their exodus from the land. He meets their leader, Moses; unknown to them, he is actually the Pharaoh Akhenaten who had originally enslaved them. They have placed the tablets with the 10 rules of the Book of the Dead in a specially constructed gold trimmed box and refer to them as the Commandments.
Space current day: Grant is brought before King Enlili who turns out to be Price Vlad the Impaler. Vlad offers to spare Earth in exchange for the treasure of the Knights Templar. Grant counters with a challenge of a duel. Grant has the choice to fight Vlad and end the war or fight Dutal and get his revenge for the murder of Maryrose.
Grant battles Vlad and forces a draw, a strategy he learned from a chess match played against Vlad centuries ago. The only way Grant could thrust his sword through the King was to let Vlad do the same. While Grant's eyes begin to close, he sees himself in the crowd next to the Time Pilot. Maryrose walks toward Grant and places the Third Nail of Christ in his hand.
If you would like to read the first three chapters of Time Pirate, send me an email to timepirate64@gmail.com
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The Ice Age Paradox Premise
On a trip of a lifetime big game hunter, Jack Hampton, conflicted about his addiction to his sport travels back to the ice age to hunt the monstrous animals of the period. Soon after his arrival, an unknown hunter from his party is stalking him. After several members of his group are found murdered and others falling victim to the creatures of the era, he reacts out of anger and makes a critical mistake. What’s left of his hunting group returns home in the time machine.
Back in the present day, the group finds that mankind and civilization never existed. This new world is dominated by animals that evolved without human influence. Giant birds rule the sky,and wolves hunt with the precision of soldiers. To save mankind, Jack must travel back to the ice age. Because of a paradox that exists between the two periods, he has no choice but to hunt down his past self. He must use the same aptitudes his previous version will use against him the same instincts that led to the critical mistake and the elimination of civilization.
If you would like to read the first three chapters of The Ice Age Paradox send me an email to: mgwallace64@gmail.com
Back in the present day, the group finds that mankind and civilization never existed. This new world is dominated by animals that evolved without human influence. Giant birds rule the sky,and wolves hunt with the precision of soldiers. To save mankind, Jack must travel back to the ice age. Because of a paradox that exists between the two periods, he has no choice but to hunt down his past self. He must use the same aptitudes his previous version will use against him the same instincts that led to the critical mistake and the elimination of civilization.
If you would like to read the first three chapters of The Ice Age Paradox send me an email to: mgwallace64@gmail.com
The Ice Age Paradox Synopsis
Jack Hampton stands in a museum and stares at the giant skeleton of a pre-historic bear. He's in awe of this animal's power when it roamed the land. His good friend Doug approaches and talks him into going to a party thrown by rival hunter Blake Collins.
Several years retired from the sport, Jack no longer feels the thrill of the hunt. No animal presents a challenge and his conscience overpowers his primal urges. He is concerned about his actions and the survival of the species he once hunted.
Blake Collins, an egotistical billionaire, wants to be recognized as the world's greatest hunter. No matter what he accomplishes the world hunting community sees Jack as the best.
To lure Jack out of retirement, Blake has possession of a time machine and plans a trip to the ice age.
Jack becomes intrigued at the thought of hunting monstrous animals that once ruled the land. With a group of the best hunters in the world, a paleontologist named Samantha and Blake's head engineer Ryan, they travel back in time.
Isolated for seven days in the green landscapes of the Ice Age, Jack and the others must use their well-honed hunting skills to evade the savage creatures of the period. After a run-in with a giant killer bird, they face the reality that they have dropped a few links on the food chain. Saber-toothed tigers, giant bears, wooly mammoths, even pigs the size of cars prove to have the ability to outwit the hunters.
Out in the grasslands, Jack befriends a mastodon he names Henry. He feeds the animal candy bars and the two of them develop a unique friendship that lasts for the entire trip.
Jack soon finds the challenge he had looked for all his life, a bear the size of a bison with the speed of a cheetah. Each time he encounters this beast, the tables turn and Jack becomes the hunted.
The group runs into difficulties. A giant bear kills one member of the group. Another hunter, (Dirk, the Texan)breaks some ribs after an encounter with a wooly rhino and Arthur,(the British Royal Marine)breaks his collarbone after tangling with a giant pig.
One day, while tracking the giant bear, someone takes a shot at Jack and it's not a stray bullet. He has to use his best hunting skills to stay one step ahead of this adept hunter and concludes that only Blake has abilities strong enough to keep up with him.
When he explains the incident to the other hunters, they view him as paranoid. With several group members having been killed by saber-tooths and the giant bear, tensions run high. The hunters are now forced to focus on their survival.
One morning Doug is found missing from camp. While Jack searches for his friend, an arrow misses him by inches. There are only two bow hunters in the group. One is a lifelong friend (Ben Graywolf) the other (Galen) he met at the beginning of the trip. There is no question this arrow belongs to Galen.
On the edge of the forest, they find Doug murdered and his head placed on top of a pole as a warning. With anxiety at a breaking point, Jack confronts Galen, however when they check his quiver, they find he still has all of his arrows.
Blake radios to the group that he found something deep in the forest. Just as they reach him, he is violently torn apart by the giant bear. While eluding the attack, Jack and the others stumble across what Blake wanted to show them. It's a tribe of stone-age people living in the forest.
Their first contact with this tribe is not friendly. The only factor that saves them is that somehow these people (later referred to as Huskers) seem to know Samantha. A young girl (Chiwa) in the tribe proudly shows off her newborn. For some reason it's important to her that Samantha approves of her baby.
With Dirk falling victim to a giant cheetah and Guy's sudden mysterious disappearance, they decide that no one will leave camp for the next twenty-four hours when the time machine returns to take them home.
That night Jack hands off guard duty to his friend Ben Graywolf. In the morning they find Ben missing. After a short search, it appears he has also fallen victim to the Huskers.
Consumed with anger and revenge, Jack travels alone into the forest and kills the chief of the primitive tribe. He makes his way back to camp just in time for the arrival of the time machine. A herd of stampeding mammoths threatens to crush them seconds before the machine activates.
They arrive back home at the exact time they left to find civilization no longer exists. In fact, mankind never existed at all. Once again, they're in a world ruled by animals. Only these creatures evolved without the influence of man. Horses have developed into carnivores and giant birds rule the sky. Wolves are enormous and hunt with the precision of soldiers.
With the suspicion that killing the tribal chief had created the world around them, they have to repair the time machine, return to the ice age and stop Jack from shooting that old man.
Because of a paradox associated with communicating between your past and future self, Jack understands there's only one way he can stop himself from making that fatal mistake. He has to hunt down and kill his past self.
Before they can leave, a tornado destroys their tent and most of their gear. A giant wolf kills Steven and a poisonous vine traps Kenneth and Phillip. Now only five remain.
Back in the ice age, their supplies are now limited. The group is forced to live off the land like the stone-age tribe. They have doubts about their survival when a rain storm almost kills Samantha.
Later on, Samantha happens upon Chiwa as she is giving birth. She helps the Husker deliver the baby and fends off a dire wolf in the process. The young girl is so grateful she names the baby after Samantha.
Jack tries to track his past self who everyone now refers to as Old Jack. He finds the instincts he uses for tracking his prey are also the instincts Old Jack uses to elude him. He seeks help from Galen the bow hunter.
When Jack and Galen return to their camp, they find it under attack from an undiscovered lion-like creature. The beast kills three of the remaining members leaving only Jack and Samantha. With the time machine having been destroyed earlier by wooly mammoths, they are left to survive with just a little more than the clothes on their backs.
Samantha has now given up any hope of fixing their situation and returning home. Jack has one last idea. He takes Samantha back to the forest and offers the Huskers a buffalo hide. With this gift, they accept Jack and Samantha into their tribe.
Over the next two days they learn the Huskers are loosing a war with a tribe of Neanderthals that also live in the forest. In fact, it was these Neanderthals that killed Doug and appeared to have killed Ben.
Jack teaches this tribe the fire starting technique taught to him by Ben. The tribe quickly uses this technique as a weapon in their war against the Neanderthals. As a reward for giving them this gift of fire, the tribe takes Jack on a hunt.
The hunt starts out as the greatest experience Jack could imagine. When he realizes the expedition is after Henry, the mastodon that he befriended, he blows the tribes cover and scares the animal away. The tribe bestows their biggest insult to Jack. They now consider him a coward and a bad hunter.
That night while sitting around the fire with the tribe, Jack comes up with one last plan to stop Old Jack from killing the Chief. He travels through the darkness back to their first camp. There, he finds Ben on guard duty. Jack talks him into coming back to the forest with him. If Ben is there when Old Jack arrives, there will be no need to kill the chief.
In the morning, Jack prepares the tribe for the arrival of his past self. Ben ventures into the forest to help Samantha who has been surrounded by Prima Leos (American Lions). He uses himself as bait to allow Samantha to escape.
Jack enters into a shooting match with his past self. Neither one of them can hit their target. Seeing himself on the other end of his riflescope causes both Jacks to flinch when they shoot. As Samantha runs to tell Jack about Ben's fate, Old Jack mistakenly shoots her in the back. The giant bear appears and violently shreds Old Jack to pieces.
Jack has one final battle with this giant bear. He notices the same look in the bear's eyes that he has when hunting. The bear does not want Jack for food. He's after Jack because he is hard to catch.
With his last bullet, Jack wounds the bear in the right shoulder. Battling the giant beast by hand turns out to be a draw. They are face to face. Jack is pinned down but has his hunting knife pressed into the bear's throat. The beast backs down as the chief and several members of the tribe come to Jack's rescue.
Ben walks out of the trees with a newly strung lion claw necklace. He and Jack head back to the first camp and get in the time machine with the members from the first trip.
The story ends where it began with Jack standing in the museum staring at a skeleton of a large ice age bear. This time the right shoulder bone of the skeleton has what looks like a healed bullet wound. Jack just smiles.
If you would like to read the first three chapters of The Ice Age Paradox send me an email to: mgwallace64@gmail.com
Several years retired from the sport, Jack no longer feels the thrill of the hunt. No animal presents a challenge and his conscience overpowers his primal urges. He is concerned about his actions and the survival of the species he once hunted.
Blake Collins, an egotistical billionaire, wants to be recognized as the world's greatest hunter. No matter what he accomplishes the world hunting community sees Jack as the best.
To lure Jack out of retirement, Blake has possession of a time machine and plans a trip to the ice age.
Jack becomes intrigued at the thought of hunting monstrous animals that once ruled the land. With a group of the best hunters in the world, a paleontologist named Samantha and Blake's head engineer Ryan, they travel back in time.
Isolated for seven days in the green landscapes of the Ice Age, Jack and the others must use their well-honed hunting skills to evade the savage creatures of the period. After a run-in with a giant killer bird, they face the reality that they have dropped a few links on the food chain. Saber-toothed tigers, giant bears, wooly mammoths, even pigs the size of cars prove to have the ability to outwit the hunters.
Out in the grasslands, Jack befriends a mastodon he names Henry. He feeds the animal candy bars and the two of them develop a unique friendship that lasts for the entire trip.
Jack soon finds the challenge he had looked for all his life, a bear the size of a bison with the speed of a cheetah. Each time he encounters this beast, the tables turn and Jack becomes the hunted.
The group runs into difficulties. A giant bear kills one member of the group. Another hunter, (Dirk, the Texan)breaks some ribs after an encounter with a wooly rhino and Arthur,(the British Royal Marine)breaks his collarbone after tangling with a giant pig.
One day, while tracking the giant bear, someone takes a shot at Jack and it's not a stray bullet. He has to use his best hunting skills to stay one step ahead of this adept hunter and concludes that only Blake has abilities strong enough to keep up with him.
When he explains the incident to the other hunters, they view him as paranoid. With several group members having been killed by saber-tooths and the giant bear, tensions run high. The hunters are now forced to focus on their survival.
One morning Doug is found missing from camp. While Jack searches for his friend, an arrow misses him by inches. There are only two bow hunters in the group. One is a lifelong friend (Ben Graywolf) the other (Galen) he met at the beginning of the trip. There is no question this arrow belongs to Galen.
On the edge of the forest, they find Doug murdered and his head placed on top of a pole as a warning. With anxiety at a breaking point, Jack confronts Galen, however when they check his quiver, they find he still has all of his arrows.
Blake radios to the group that he found something deep in the forest. Just as they reach him, he is violently torn apart by the giant bear. While eluding the attack, Jack and the others stumble across what Blake wanted to show them. It's a tribe of stone-age people living in the forest.
Their first contact with this tribe is not friendly. The only factor that saves them is that somehow these people (later referred to as Huskers) seem to know Samantha. A young girl (Chiwa) in the tribe proudly shows off her newborn. For some reason it's important to her that Samantha approves of her baby.
With Dirk falling victim to a giant cheetah and Guy's sudden mysterious disappearance, they decide that no one will leave camp for the next twenty-four hours when the time machine returns to take them home.
That night Jack hands off guard duty to his friend Ben Graywolf. In the morning they find Ben missing. After a short search, it appears he has also fallen victim to the Huskers.
Consumed with anger and revenge, Jack travels alone into the forest and kills the chief of the primitive tribe. He makes his way back to camp just in time for the arrival of the time machine. A herd of stampeding mammoths threatens to crush them seconds before the machine activates.
They arrive back home at the exact time they left to find civilization no longer exists. In fact, mankind never existed at all. Once again, they're in a world ruled by animals. Only these creatures evolved without the influence of man. Horses have developed into carnivores and giant birds rule the sky. Wolves are enormous and hunt with the precision of soldiers.
With the suspicion that killing the tribal chief had created the world around them, they have to repair the time machine, return to the ice age and stop Jack from shooting that old man.
Because of a paradox associated with communicating between your past and future self, Jack understands there's only one way he can stop himself from making that fatal mistake. He has to hunt down and kill his past self.
Before they can leave, a tornado destroys their tent and most of their gear. A giant wolf kills Steven and a poisonous vine traps Kenneth and Phillip. Now only five remain.
Back in the ice age, their supplies are now limited. The group is forced to live off the land like the stone-age tribe. They have doubts about their survival when a rain storm almost kills Samantha.
Later on, Samantha happens upon Chiwa as she is giving birth. She helps the Husker deliver the baby and fends off a dire wolf in the process. The young girl is so grateful she names the baby after Samantha.
Jack tries to track his past self who everyone now refers to as Old Jack. He finds the instincts he uses for tracking his prey are also the instincts Old Jack uses to elude him. He seeks help from Galen the bow hunter.
When Jack and Galen return to their camp, they find it under attack from an undiscovered lion-like creature. The beast kills three of the remaining members leaving only Jack and Samantha. With the time machine having been destroyed earlier by wooly mammoths, they are left to survive with just a little more than the clothes on their backs.
Samantha has now given up any hope of fixing their situation and returning home. Jack has one last idea. He takes Samantha back to the forest and offers the Huskers a buffalo hide. With this gift, they accept Jack and Samantha into their tribe.
Over the next two days they learn the Huskers are loosing a war with a tribe of Neanderthals that also live in the forest. In fact, it was these Neanderthals that killed Doug and appeared to have killed Ben.
Jack teaches this tribe the fire starting technique taught to him by Ben. The tribe quickly uses this technique as a weapon in their war against the Neanderthals. As a reward for giving them this gift of fire, the tribe takes Jack on a hunt.
The hunt starts out as the greatest experience Jack could imagine. When he realizes the expedition is after Henry, the mastodon that he befriended, he blows the tribes cover and scares the animal away. The tribe bestows their biggest insult to Jack. They now consider him a coward and a bad hunter.
That night while sitting around the fire with the tribe, Jack comes up with one last plan to stop Old Jack from killing the Chief. He travels through the darkness back to their first camp. There, he finds Ben on guard duty. Jack talks him into coming back to the forest with him. If Ben is there when Old Jack arrives, there will be no need to kill the chief.
In the morning, Jack prepares the tribe for the arrival of his past self. Ben ventures into the forest to help Samantha who has been surrounded by Prima Leos (American Lions). He uses himself as bait to allow Samantha to escape.
Jack enters into a shooting match with his past self. Neither one of them can hit their target. Seeing himself on the other end of his riflescope causes both Jacks to flinch when they shoot. As Samantha runs to tell Jack about Ben's fate, Old Jack mistakenly shoots her in the back. The giant bear appears and violently shreds Old Jack to pieces.
Jack has one final battle with this giant bear. He notices the same look in the bear's eyes that he has when hunting. The bear does not want Jack for food. He's after Jack because he is hard to catch.
With his last bullet, Jack wounds the bear in the right shoulder. Battling the giant beast by hand turns out to be a draw. They are face to face. Jack is pinned down but has his hunting knife pressed into the bear's throat. The beast backs down as the chief and several members of the tribe come to Jack's rescue.
Ben walks out of the trees with a newly strung lion claw necklace. He and Jack head back to the first camp and get in the time machine with the members from the first trip.
The story ends where it began with Jack standing in the museum staring at a skeleton of a large ice age bear. This time the right shoulder bone of the skeleton has what looks like a healed bullet wound. Jack just smiles.
If you would like to read the first three chapters of The Ice Age Paradox send me an email to: mgwallace64@gmail.com
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The Elephant Trials Synopsis
An elderly man with a deep scare down his cheek asks an auditorium filled with college students what they know about the last Great War. They relate the simple facts of how the United States interrupted a blockade by Eastern Canada which erupted into and three way, six country conflict. The old man turns angry and asks, “What about the elephants?” The students only offer puzzled facial expressions. He relates the story of how a herd of elephants in South Africa led to the outbreak of the war.
Dr. Julie Cake greets her fellow scientist Dr. Steve Miller and leads him to the center of the primitive village where he envisions the unbelievable sight of a small man (Bandi) surrounded and protected by three massive bull elephants.
A brain infection has given him the ability to communicate with the pachyderms and Bandi only speaks Xitoga. Steve is the only westerner who can translate for him.
The elephants claim the land is part of their migration route and has belonged to their clan for hundreds of generations.
Sergeant Ashton Wilson checks into the barracks of his new unit in Texas. He hears a newscast of the growing tensions between Eastern and Western Canada. They are both claiming rights to common territories on their border. His lieutenant briefs him that they will be shipping out in the morning for high altitude mountain training.
The Chief elephant (Gur) returns to the village and wants the humans to leave their land. Steve explains the humans have a justice system they must follow. Gur, insists the elephants be given the opportunity to make their claim before the human chiefs.
Judge Jonathan Kenda-Mantor finds the notion that the elephants can speak to Bandi as foolish. As he prepares to leave the proceedings, Gur relates a story of how he saved the judge, as a young boy, from a snake. Judge Kenda-Mantor relates as a child an elephant trampled a Black Mamba about to bite him. He agrees to hear the case.
Sergeant Ashton Wilson and his unit rappel down a cliff when three soldiers become entangled in the ropes. Ashton free climbs across the rock face to free the men.
With their appointed attorney (Winton Marshall), the elephants enter the outdoor court. Gur relates his lineage back to the time of the Mammoths.
In the savanna, with the elephants, Steve learns that several species of plains animals are threatening to go to war over the use of a watering hole. Gur is negotiating between the animals in order to maintain the balance. The lions and leopards have formed and alliance and pulled out of the talks.
Back in Texas, after a bar fight, Ashton and his unit demonstrate their adept skills when they break one of their men out of a city jail without detection. The next morning they learn Eastern Canada has sent troops to form a blockade along the border with Western Canada.
Dr. Cake in a panic wakes Steve and explains park rangers want to kill one of the elephants. They go to the compound and find Bandi yelling in his language at the park rangers.
One of the younger elephants killed a farmer and the rangers want to kill it as a rogue. Gur wants to subject him to their Judgment of the Chiefs. They all agree to let Judge Kenda-Mantor decide who’s legal system will prevail.
With Bandi an official member of the elephant’s clan, the trial focuses on the teenage elephant and his fate. Gur wants to deliver their punishment. He testifies that the teenager had recently joined his clan and had not been raised with elders and lost his sense of the herd.
That night the lions and leopards argue before Gur. The watering hole is in the land of the buffalos who will not allow the big cats access.
The next day, the teenage elephant testifies that the farmer had killed his mother. As Judge Kenda-Mantor rules in favor of the park rangers the brother of the murdered farmer insists on speaking. He narrates the story of how they killed a female elephant a few years ago. The judge changes his verdict and releases the teenage elephant back to the clan.
Out in the savanna, the hyenas have gone to war with the lions and leopards. Gur bands the baboons, Cape buffalo and cheetahs together. Out numbered the big cats end their aggression and agree to Gur’s terms for the watering hole.
The trial focuses on the elephant’s right to the land on their migration route. Bandi has trouble translating because of intensifying headaches. The institute funding Steve transfers him to Hudson Bay to count Beluga Whales.
While in Canada, Steve is taken prisoner by Eastern Canadian forces aboard his boat along with a Texas congressman. Under the clause, in the Bill of Rights, that each state has the right to protect itself, the governor of Texas sends his State Guard to Hudson Bay to free their elected official.
Bandi tries to explain to the Judge what the elephants are saying but no one can understand him.
In the savanna, Bandi relates to Gur that the judge cannot understand him without translation. He explains that Steve is on a great body of water counting whales. Gur sends a message to bring Steve back. It’s passed quickly from herd to herd until it reaches the ocean. A lone elephant relays the message to a whale off the shore.
In the darkness of night, Ashton and his unit quietly swim below the water’s surface toward the circle of boats when they’re cutoff by Killer Whales. Several Orcas ram the boats which ignites a firefight between the soldiers. During the battle Ashton receives a deep cut down his cheek. With help from the whales, he frees Steve and the congressman.
Gur and his elder elephants listen to Judge Kenda-Mantor rule in their favor but they have no idea what he is saying without Bandi there to translate. They determine they have lost the case and return to the savanna.
Sergeant Wilson escorts Steve all the way back to South Africa. They arrive in time to see the elephants caring for Bandi who dies in Steve’s arms. The elephants take him off to their graveyard.
The old man in front of the room full of college students explains, “The elephants never again used the migration trail thinking it was taken away from them. With Bandi gone, we had no way of communicating. The war overshadowed all other news for the next two years and the elephant trials were forgotten.”
If you would like to read the first three chapters of The Elephant Trials, send me an email to mgwallace64@gmail.com
Dr. Julie Cake greets her fellow scientist Dr. Steve Miller and leads him to the center of the primitive village where he envisions the unbelievable sight of a small man (Bandi) surrounded and protected by three massive bull elephants.
A brain infection has given him the ability to communicate with the pachyderms and Bandi only speaks Xitoga. Steve is the only westerner who can translate for him.
The elephants claim the land is part of their migration route and has belonged to their clan for hundreds of generations.
Sergeant Ashton Wilson checks into the barracks of his new unit in Texas. He hears a newscast of the growing tensions between Eastern and Western Canada. They are both claiming rights to common territories on their border. His lieutenant briefs him that they will be shipping out in the morning for high altitude mountain training.
The Chief elephant (Gur) returns to the village and wants the humans to leave their land. Steve explains the humans have a justice system they must follow. Gur, insists the elephants be given the opportunity to make their claim before the human chiefs.
Judge Jonathan Kenda-Mantor finds the notion that the elephants can speak to Bandi as foolish. As he prepares to leave the proceedings, Gur relates a story of how he saved the judge, as a young boy, from a snake. Judge Kenda-Mantor relates as a child an elephant trampled a Black Mamba about to bite him. He agrees to hear the case.
Sergeant Ashton Wilson and his unit rappel down a cliff when three soldiers become entangled in the ropes. Ashton free climbs across the rock face to free the men.
With their appointed attorney (Winton Marshall), the elephants enter the outdoor court. Gur relates his lineage back to the time of the Mammoths.
In the savanna, with the elephants, Steve learns that several species of plains animals are threatening to go to war over the use of a watering hole. Gur is negotiating between the animals in order to maintain the balance. The lions and leopards have formed and alliance and pulled out of the talks.
Back in Texas, after a bar fight, Ashton and his unit demonstrate their adept skills when they break one of their men out of a city jail without detection. The next morning they learn Eastern Canada has sent troops to form a blockade along the border with Western Canada.
Dr. Cake in a panic wakes Steve and explains park rangers want to kill one of the elephants. They go to the compound and find Bandi yelling in his language at the park rangers.
One of the younger elephants killed a farmer and the rangers want to kill it as a rogue. Gur wants to subject him to their Judgment of the Chiefs. They all agree to let Judge Kenda-Mantor decide who’s legal system will prevail.
With Bandi an official member of the elephant’s clan, the trial focuses on the teenage elephant and his fate. Gur wants to deliver their punishment. He testifies that the teenager had recently joined his clan and had not been raised with elders and lost his sense of the herd.
That night the lions and leopards argue before Gur. The watering hole is in the land of the buffalos who will not allow the big cats access.
The next day, the teenage elephant testifies that the farmer had killed his mother. As Judge Kenda-Mantor rules in favor of the park rangers the brother of the murdered farmer insists on speaking. He narrates the story of how they killed a female elephant a few years ago. The judge changes his verdict and releases the teenage elephant back to the clan.
Out in the savanna, the hyenas have gone to war with the lions and leopards. Gur bands the baboons, Cape buffalo and cheetahs together. Out numbered the big cats end their aggression and agree to Gur’s terms for the watering hole.
The trial focuses on the elephant’s right to the land on their migration route. Bandi has trouble translating because of intensifying headaches. The institute funding Steve transfers him to Hudson Bay to count Beluga Whales.
While in Canada, Steve is taken prisoner by Eastern Canadian forces aboard his boat along with a Texas congressman. Under the clause, in the Bill of Rights, that each state has the right to protect itself, the governor of Texas sends his State Guard to Hudson Bay to free their elected official.
Bandi tries to explain to the Judge what the elephants are saying but no one can understand him.
In the savanna, Bandi relates to Gur that the judge cannot understand him without translation. He explains that Steve is on a great body of water counting whales. Gur sends a message to bring Steve back. It’s passed quickly from herd to herd until it reaches the ocean. A lone elephant relays the message to a whale off the shore.
In the darkness of night, Ashton and his unit quietly swim below the water’s surface toward the circle of boats when they’re cutoff by Killer Whales. Several Orcas ram the boats which ignites a firefight between the soldiers. During the battle Ashton receives a deep cut down his cheek. With help from the whales, he frees Steve and the congressman.
Gur and his elder elephants listen to Judge Kenda-Mantor rule in their favor but they have no idea what he is saying without Bandi there to translate. They determine they have lost the case and return to the savanna.
Sergeant Wilson escorts Steve all the way back to South Africa. They arrive in time to see the elephants caring for Bandi who dies in Steve’s arms. The elephants take him off to their graveyard.
The old man in front of the room full of college students explains, “The elephants never again used the migration trail thinking it was taken away from them. With Bandi gone, we had no way of communicating. The war overshadowed all other news for the next two years and the elephant trials were forgotten.”
If you would like to read the first three chapters of The Elephant Trials, send me an email to mgwallace64@gmail.com
The Elephant Trials Premise
Dr. Steve Miller has been transferred to this remote area of South Africa as the only westerner who can translate Xitoga the language of a man named Bandi. This small villager burdened with a brain infection has the ability to speak with elephants from a nearby herd.
The elephants led by their chief named Gur have a justice system of their own and want the human village removed from their migration trail. Gur agrees to take his dispute to the human courts.
On the opposite side of the world, tensions rise between Eastern and Western Canada over winter supply routes. Both countries build troops on their border ready for war.
After a rogue elephant kills a farmer, the land dispute turns into a murder trial. Dr. Steve Miller, is transferred to Hudson Bay where he is trapped after fighting breaks out between the two Canadian countries.
With no translator and no way to be heard at the trial with the humans, the elephants launch a plan to bring Dr. Miller back to Africa.
If you would like to read the first three chapters of The Elephant Trials, send me an email to mgwallace64@gmail.com
The elephants led by their chief named Gur have a justice system of their own and want the human village removed from their migration trail. Gur agrees to take his dispute to the human courts.
On the opposite side of the world, tensions rise between Eastern and Western Canada over winter supply routes. Both countries build troops on their border ready for war.
After a rogue elephant kills a farmer, the land dispute turns into a murder trial. Dr. Steve Miller, is transferred to Hudson Bay where he is trapped after fighting breaks out between the two Canadian countries.
With no translator and no way to be heard at the trial with the humans, the elephants launch a plan to bring Dr. Miller back to Africa.
If you would like to read the first three chapters of The Elephant Trials, send me an email to mgwallace64@gmail.com
My Climbing Credentials
If it were a prerequisite that you summit Everest before you are allowed to write about Mallory & Irvine, then only Reinhold Messner would have that honor. I know hundreds of summit veterans have written books about the mountain, but they all write about their journeys. Messner writes quality work about more than just being the first to summit without oxygen.
What are my credentials for writing a story about a climbing legend who became the first person to stand on the summit of Everest? Unless you are a climber, and familiar with the vernacular, they may not make much sense but here goes:
I’ve Red Pointed and Flashed between 5.7 and 5.9. As with most climbers, I have a long list of accomplished routes with inappropriate names like “The Devil’s Kitten’s Hairball” and “Jeremy Barfed Here.” While sitting on a four inch ledge on the diamond face of Long’s Peak, I made Kool-Aide. I can heel hook, pull a wicked dyno, do a sick crimp and all the usual moves performed by all the usual suspects. The difference between me and them, they hang out at the mall, I watched the moon landing live.
What are my credentials for writing a story about a climbing legend who became the first person to stand on the summit of Everest? Unless you are a climber, and familiar with the vernacular, they may not make much sense but here goes:
I’ve Red Pointed and Flashed between 5.7 and 5.9. As with most climbers, I have a long list of accomplished routes with inappropriate names like “The Devil’s Kitten’s Hairball” and “Jeremy Barfed Here.” While sitting on a four inch ledge on the diamond face of Long’s Peak, I made Kool-Aide. I can heel hook, pull a wicked dyno, do a sick crimp and all the usual moves performed by all the usual suspects. The difference between me and them, they hang out at the mall, I watched the moon landing live.
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